The Grand Chocolate Peppermint Finale!!

Why? Why, oh why do I keep giving Russell Stover a chance? It's just like my continued return to Match.com - clear insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Forget crutches, I should be sporting a straight jacket.

Here's RS's entry in the battle for peppermint prowess:

Unlike the usual RS filled blob, we can actually see that this is, indeed, a snowman. He is apparently hanging onto this scarf for dear life, but nonetheless, we can tell what he is. We can even see the carrot for his nose. The point of view is wrong, no snowman's nose is a sideways carrot, but still extraordinary for RS. He is made of white chocolate with peppermint chips and a dark chocolate base. The peppermint is in there, although not nearly as visible as in other offerings. And I have to say, I prefer the dark chocolate here to the milk chocolate of Ghirardelli. I know, shocking, right? But before things get crazy, the Ghirardelli chocolate is so much smoother and creamier than the RS chocolate, they still come out ahead.

But there's another entry in this peppermint pecking order:

Our friends at Dove! I have to say this may be the ugliest holiday candy bag ever - mostly grey and with the Martha Stewart stamp in blue. Ugly. It does get better, however:

LOVE the red and green polka dots!!

Now these have the right combo - dark chocolate (I think dark works best here because it offsets the sweetness of the white.) I also like the balance of the three flavors - here dark chocolate comes out on top, you taste it the most. Peppermint lovers may prefer Ghirardelli as would milk chocolate lovers. And the Ghirardelli squares are really hard not to like. But I just think the dark chocolate works best.

The only drawback to the Dove Promises is the horrible Martha Stewart "tips" on the inside. I much, much, much prefer the old cool holiday messages - things like "Let joy find you this holiday season" or "Linger under the mistletoe." Instead we get:

That says "Out of wrapping paper? Use an old map or a sewing pattern."

Yeah - I don't have any wrapping paper, but I have tons of sewing patterns (like that would look good) and maps. Martha does have a computer, right? Who has maps anymore? Maybe she owns stock in Rand McNally.

Other great tips from the wise one:

"Individually wrap ornaments in acid-free tissue for storage."

Need some more stress? Start worrying if you're wrapping the ornaments in the right paper.

Or how about this gem of genius:

"Make a plan for clearing and cleaning holiday dishes."

A plan? Are you kidding me? You need a plan to storm the beach at Normandy, not to clear the dinner table. How has anyone survived the holidays without Martha's wisdom? A better question is "How much did Mars pay her for this BS?" I would write cool inserts just for free chocolate. And they would be WAY better than Martha's. And I'm not a convicted felon.

Now this snowman kicks RS's snowman's behiney:

Wow! Even his nose is in the right place!

I found him with this gorgeous tree in Walgreen's:

These are made by Riviera Brands out of Deerfield, Illinois under the Hazelwood Gourmet label. The wrapper says they are made with Belgian chocolate. I don't know about that.

However, the snowman is way better than I expected. The peppermint is chewy rather than crunchy and the milk chocolate base is thick enough to offset the sweetness. I am shocked! The snowman is really good looking AND tastes good! What a great office gift or stocking stuffer. Well done! Hell, even unknown brands kick RS's butt.

The Christmas Tree is also not bad. It's pretty much just chocolate, but it really is festive. I think these are better than those chocolate lollipops Godiva did for Halloween. A+++ in design and B for flavor. And, if I know Walgreen's they'll probably run a sale on them soon if they haven't already. Grab some for emergency gifts. Hell - they look good enough to hang on your tree!

Speaking of my arch enemy - Godiva - here's something I found in Belk but did not see in the Godiva boutique:

Could there be a cheesier inner wrapper? Even Hershey and Mars do better than this!

But I do like the look if the candy itself. I like the red and white chips. Here's the Godiva description:

Deliciously creamy Godiva white chocolate, mixed with cool, crunchy candy cane pieces, enrobed in Godiva dark chocolate and topped with candy bits.

Here's my description:

Some okay white chocolate with some crunched up peppermint dipped in some okay dark chocolate with some random sprinkle like things.

There ain't no "creamy" anywhere. I swear I just don't think Godiva's chocolate is that outstanding. These aren't bad, but they aren't great by any means. I think something much better is:

Now this is my kind of assortment!!! The boring chocolate Santas are the smallest quantity and the Reese's Trees are the largest! And that Martha bitch is nowhere in sight!

We'll talk trees and Santas in another post. Our present priority is peppermint:

You want creamy? This is creamy! Love the special holiday shape! Like the sparkly snowflake wrapper. (Godiva, get out of the candy ghetto with that cheap wrapper! And don't try to use old maps either.)

Peppermint Patties are an oldie but a goodie. Way cheaper than Godiva, but, to be honest, I like them better! Now, again, they can't beat the creamy Lindor truffle, but these are good.

I have to conclude with what might just be my favorite peppermint confection of the season - Harry and David's Peppermint Maltballs:

They look totally festive - Put then in a clear glass container and - bam - instant holiday cheer! (Take that, Martha!). And they taste great! The crunchy maltball and the dark chocolate all make for a great combo. Very creative use of textures and flavors and I like they way they look.

The Sorbet Sistahs Go to Florida!

This will be the last post before the big surgery!!! But don't go away! I have scored TONS of great holiday chocolate to share with you!! And you know I'll have some great stories from the hospital!

I brought back some treats for my Sistahs from the great state of Florida and we checked them out today. First was a milk chocolate Key Lime:

Ripped off from the chocolate orange, we decided this was way too limey. It took a minute to taste the lime, we gave a slice to our waitress and she said, "I don't taste..." and immediately stopped. Once the lime kicks in, it kicks in.

Let me show you Terry's orange:

This one was too orangey for me. These chocolate fruits just don't do it for me. But the orange is a Christmas tradition. Both have to be broken open:

I was totally cracking up when Tracy had to slam this thing on the table - twice! I was flashing back to my beating the orange with a stapler last year.

Here's what they look like naked:

First the lime from the top and then from the bottom:

I think the orange looks better - there's no extra blob of chocolate holding things together:

It looks like a million times better, right?

The lime is the top image - the orange is a cleaner break. It's just made better. And the chocolate was better too as I recall. Overall, none of us were impressed with the chocolate key lime. Sorbet Sistahs say pass. Better than sorbet, but far from great.

These, however, were a different matter entirely:

These are delicious, moist coconut patties with a base and sides of chocolate. I bought pina colada and almond, but they come in lots of flavors:

Here are the patties:

Pina Colada was not so great. I thought the pineapple was too strong. We all thought it was okay until we had the almond (on the left). Almond was fabulous!!!!! The coconut was really moist, the almond and chocolate enhanced it, the balance of the three was perfect. Bravo!

I would hate for pirates to stop all the shipments of cacao and coconut. Keep the chocolate faith, and I'll be back with you soon!!!!

I really am thankful for all of you who take the time to read this!!

Does Chocolate Make Things Better?

I was out today and actually purchased my first Valentine's Day candy. God help me. If you saw how much Christmas candy I still have you would drive me to the mental institution. I'm telling you - watch for me on an upcoming episode of Hoarders - the Crazy Candy Lady.

I have to show you these cookies just because they are my fav of the season and if there are any left you should buy them. Immediately.

Cute box. Cute cookies. If you like almond shortbread cookies - these are the best. Ever.

Are you still reading? Get in your car - go to Trader's Joe's! They can't last forever - go NOW! I'll still be here when you get back.

Today we have a serious issue to cover. Does chocolate make everything better?

I'm going to say, "YES!" and "no." Do you like how I made the no in lower case? It's a no, but a quiet no, a subtle no. This is Motivation by Chocolate, after all. Hang in there, munch on an almond snowman and watch my philosophy unfold.

In the case of gingerbread (yes, more gingerbread), the answer is HELL YES!!! Chocolate and gingerbread are a match made in heaven.

Bahlsen (www.bahlsen.com) (check out http://www.germandeli.com/bachco.html also) is a German company that makes some great, great gingerbread. These guys are cute:

You know me, I love all the different designs. But what really makes them good is:

Oh yeah, baby! The layer of dark chocolate on back. YUM!! Soft, cakey and spicy offset by the dark chocolate - these gingerbread men are my new boyfriends. I love them.

Now, I typically prefer men to boys, but in this case:

The white chocolate works too. By Nikki's Cookies, this guy was nice and moist and the white chocolate was a much thicker layer than the dark chocolate on the Bahlsen men. But he was great too - not as spicy as the German cookies, but still good. The chocolate seems to help keep the gingerbread moist. It's a kickin' combo.

These cookies started my love affair with gingerbread. They still rock my world. I have these stashed everywhere because I can only find them around Christmas so I bought like a million. They are in my pantry, my cookie jar, my cupboards, even my silverware drawer. They are everywhere. They are sooooo good!!!

I know - you think - whatever. Here's the deal - they are like cakey spice cookies. They have a wonderful fruity, spicy flavor that is so fabulous with the dark chocolate I can't even explain it. I can only find them in World Market and A Southern Season. And you may not be able to find any because I have bought them all. Bwah, ha, ha! Just call me Moriarty (yes, I saw Sherlock Holmes last night).

This is Harry & David's Gingerbread Cookie Boy "coated in chocolate flavor" (which means mockolate). But I don't care - he's really good too! I'm telling you, this gingerbread and chocolate thing is very, very beautiful. Gingerbread needs a little help and chocolate is just the thing. Although H & D's GBB is a little dry. The German's are kicking our butt on this I'm afraid.

Look at that cute smile! And that swirl of hair! Awwww!

These beauties were made exclusively for Williams-Sonoma by Two Hearts Bakery in San Francisco. They were insanely expensive - the box of eight was $25:

And you have about a week to eat them before the marshmallow starts to get hard and yucky. They "do not recommend refrigerating or freezing them." I read that as "Don't refrigerate or freeze." And they are not big:

With a winter Oreo

with the H & D Gingerbread Boy. Damn.

Now according to Williams-Sonoma, these Gingerbread Boy S'mores are well worth $3+ each. Listen to this:

"Two Hearts Bakery in San Francisco creates these "boys" for us by hand, one batch at a time. Their graham crackers are baked with a touch of wildflower honey and Saigon cinnamon, then dipped in a silky blend of Guittard couveture milk and dark chocolates and piped with vanilla icing buttons. Sandwiched in between is a fresh, hand-cut marshmallow flavored with Nielsen-Massey Madagascar Bourbon vanilla beans."

Well good God! Was Martha involved? Where are my maps? Did they drive these cookies through the Holy Land too? Where they blessed by the Pope?

Okay, I did notice that the chocolate on these babies was super delish. However, the wildflower honey, Saigon cinnamon, and those vanilla beans with four names went right by me. Didn't even notice. Liked the milk chocolate better than the dark. Glad I tried them, but you won't find them stashed in every nook and cranny of my kitchen. And I won't buy them again. A little too rich for me, both in taste and cost.

For $25 I can assemble an Archway army and go kick some Nielsen-Massey Madagascar Bourbon vanilla bean butt. Wow - first I decapitate Santa, now I'm assembling a gingerbread army. What will be next?

Here's the "no":

These are from Crate and Barrel - yep - they have Christmas Treats in their catalog. They are Rice Krispy treats covered in milk and white chocolate and sprinkles:

The white chocolate was the better of the two, but the chocolate didn't work here. Too much, too heavy. A drizzle of chocolate or chunks of chocolate are okay, but this was way too much. Rice Krispy treats are pretty damn good on their own. They don't need this much help from chocolate.

So sometimes, YES, chocolate makes things better. And sometimes, no, chocolate doesn't make things better. There is no single solution to every problem. What works for a vanilla bean may not work for a hazelnut. Some days even chocolate can't solve your problems. But as long as you know that things WILL get better, you'll be okay. Chocolate may not be able to solve all your problems, but you can. And if you don't think you can, call me - I'll bring my army.

Rocky Road Brownies

Here's a tip I learned over the years. Just because your cookbook says holiday cookies doesn't mean you can only make them for the holidays. In fact, nothing about the recipes makes them holiday only (except maybe pumpkin for fall cookies and the way cut-out cookies are decorated). Take these rocky road brownies for example. The book is called Grandma's Christmas Cookies, but give me one good reason why these should be made only for Christmas. In fact, I bet if I didn't tell you the title of the book, you never would have known. Personally, holiday cookbooks were invented so if I were making a cookie tray, having company, or invited to a cookie exchange (someone please invite me!), I don't have to look very far for an "elegant" recipe. By elegant I mean more than your traditional chocolate chip cookie.





Fact - I hate, hate, HATE the lighting in my kitchen. Another fact - I love marshmallows, which is why I picked these brownies. That and the picture in my book looked amazing. Plus I had peanuts leftover. The topping looked amazing, and I tried to capture that in a photo, but it was hard because the brownies are very gooey. It is best to eat these cold because of the topping, but they can also be eaten at room temperature (provided that it's not a hot summer's day).



Rocky Road Brownies



1/2 cup butter or margarine
2 squares (1 oz each) unsweetened chocolate
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup flour
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup salted peanuts, chopped

Topping
2 Tbsp butter or margarine
1 1/2 oz cream cheese
1/2 square (1/2 oz) unsweetened chocolate
2 Tbsp milk
1 1/4 + 2 Tbsp powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 cup mini marshmallows
1/2 cup salted peanuts

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Line 8x8 pan with greased foil.

2. In a saucepan, melt butter and chocolate, stirring constantly. Add sugar, flour, eggs, and vanilla; mix well. Stir in peanuts. Spread into baking pan. Bake 20-25 minutes or until brownie starts to pull away from sides of pan. Cool completely

3. Topping: In another saucepan, combine butter, cream cheese, chocolate, and milk. Heat until melted, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Add sugar and vanilla. Beat with mixer until smooth. Stir in marshmallows and peanuts. Immediately spread over cooled brownies. Cool completely before cutting. Store in refrigerator.

The Chocolate Orange

Did you ever get fruit in your stocking as a kid? I think my Mom (oops, I mean Santa) tried it once and we bitched and moaned so much she never did it again. Who the hell wants FRUIT in their stocking on Christmas? Might as well put coal in there. I want Reese's. Lots of Reese's. And don't take up space by putting batteries in there.

But if you are bound and determined to put an orange in there, there has been a good alternative (I reviewed it last year) - Terry's Chocolate Orange. I was stunned last year to see that you had to beat the thing to get it to "open" into slices, but I'm a veteran now. I didn't try something stupid like hitting it with a stapler. I just slammed these mothers right into a table. More holiday violence! What is wrong with me?

So what's new this year? Well, Terry's has a new variety and everybody and their brother is trying to get in on the action.

Terry's has toffee crunch:

The interior instruction wrapper:

Whack? I tried whacking it last year, I'm telling you, you have to slam them into a table. Here's what Terry's looks like before the slam:

And after:

As you'll see Terry's breaks apart the best. It also looks the best before you break it. Terry's (now owned by Kraft) has the process down.

When I first opened the box I was hit with the citrus smell of orange. I have to tell you, I was thinking this just might be toffee. Not orange toffee. And while I like it better than the non-toffee orange, it's still too orangy for me. But better than a real orange, mind you. Chocolate and toffee are involved.

Ferrara Pan (maker of the Atomic Fireball) has jumped into the chocolate game and they too have a toffee crunch orange:

Burst then enjoy? What the hell does "burst" mean? I like "whack and unwrap" better but I guess you can only steal so much. How about "Beat then Eat?" Or "Slam then Cram?"

Not as pretty as Terry's:

And much more carnage after the bursting. It's hard to really tell from the pics, but Terry's comes apart much better. This one was just toffee, no orange flavor. But the chocolate was waxy and the toffee in Terry's was better. I am totally unimpressed and while I hate the orange flavor, I choose Terry's over this.

Ferrara also has a Dark Orange:

Another "bursting" disaster. I still can't get some of these slices apart. But the dark chocolate/orange combo works better than the milk chocolate/orange combo. I often find that with fruit flavors, dark chocolate is a better pairing. The fruit is already sweet enough, it doesn't need milk chocolate. But this isn't the best dark chocolate in the world. However, it's better than the milk chocolate offering by Terry's only becuase of the better flavor combo.

And another contender - Florida Tropic! (I reviewed their Key Lime a month or so ago.) Their orange just says 70% cacao dark chocolate:

Well, maybe this works? Although if you've never had some of these do you know the hand is slamming? Or does it just look like it's just squeezing?

The lamest of all the "breaks" - they have no skill in the molding of this "orange." It is dark chocolate and no orange flavor. It's okay - it's not doing a whole lot for me. In fact, why bother? It's not fun to slam. It has no orange taste, no toffee, and you can get a lot better dark chocolate elsewhere. But if you insist on having a damn orange, so ahead. Wait! I think I'd rather have batteries.